Once upon a time in a land far, far away called Vietnam. A daring FAC was tricked by the wicked witch of ego and nearly suffered a tragic end. Fortunately his skill and cunning saved him. He not only avoided the tragedy but he managed to avoid ridicule as well. Now that the daring FAC is growing old he doesn’t have any ego so he is telling his story that others might avoid the trickery of the wicked witch of ego.My first assignment in Vietnam was as ALO/FAC to the 1/9th Air Cavalry Squadron. Often I flew the OV-10 and Army helicopters in the same day. At times I ran my own Air Force. I had my own A/C # 67-14683, Crew Chief John Paczkowski, Radios and Operator Charlie Daniel, even my own jeep, Dum Dum. Sometimes I wonder if the name on the jeep wasn’t more than just a name. As soon as one of the Brigades got short you can guess who got tapped to fill the blank spot. I would find my jeep missing, my A/C at Quan Loi or Tay Ninh, my radios gone and my operator in the Division Tactical Operations Center (DTOC). When that happened I had to go back to work to convince the DIV ALO to give them back. He usually did when things got better but it was still a problem in that planning with the SQ had to have several options. I would catch rides with others, the 1/9th TOC would take over my radio requirements and I would fly the SQ helicopters or one of the Brigade A/C.
Even though I worked with the 1/9th Troop in each Brigade I was based at Phouc Vinh with the Division HQ, 3rd Brigade, 1/9th HQ and C Troop which was tasked to support the 3rd Brigade. So my operation was integrated with that of the 3rd Brigade and Army Aviation supported us like any other FAC unit in the field. As time went by I was tasked with different jobs that seemed to multiply like rabbits. First I was asked to screen all Awards and Decorations for the Division ALO. Then I was told to conduct the Air Force portion of the daily 5 P.M. Division Commander’s briefing which came to include almost every day I was on the firebase. I worked out of the other Brigade’s bases when I worked with their 1/9th Troops so I wasn’t always available.
Then I was made Maintenance Officer and supposed to supervise all the enlisted Airmen. I think I was made Awards and Decorations Officer when I made the mistake of letting some FACs know I had minored in Journalism in college. I got tasked for the briefings when it got out I had majored in Speech. I don’t know why I was given the maintenance job but a rivalry had developed between our Airmen and the Army Maintenance Troopers. So I guess it was because I worked more closely with Army aviation people than anybody else.
When I was given the Maintenance Officer job I knew nothing about the job. I decided the best way to handle the situation was to just admit my ignorance and offer to try to make their jobs easier by getting their suggestions for improvement implemented. So I called all the Airmen together one evening and told them I didn’t know squat about their jobs so I just expected them to do them as best they could. I said that if they had a problem with anybody in our unit, the Army or with our support from the 19th TASS at Bien Hoa let me know and I would do what I could to fix it. I expected to meet with the NCOs each day I was on base and learn the day’s activities and problems. Suddenly I was the most popular AF Officer on the base even though I really didn’t do anything except listen. I don’t remember ever having a problem reported to me that I had to do anything about. All I ever did was listen and offer some suggestions on solving the problem.
Things were rocking along pretty well and I didn’t have time to worry much about anything because I worked from early morning to late at night seven days a week. Ironically I was most exhausted on those days I worked in the DTOC coordinating the AF efforts for the day. I never was a part of any planning but I was often asked to give advice and to explain how things were supposed to work. It’s never easy being the man in the middle. I never had any trouble sleeping because I was exhausted when I finally hit the sack at night. Of course our sleep was often interrupted by little things like rocket, mortar and ground attacks, but that’s another story. I never heard the friendly Artillery fire at night but I could be under the bed before the first enemy round hit and be in the bunker as soon as the first salvo was over.
Anyway I think John Paczkowski was the best Crew Chief in SVN. He built hotrods in Cleveland, OH before he joined up and was one of those guys who had magic in their hands. I knew two maintenance types that were naturals in my career and John was the best. I’m sure there were many others but I was a really close friend with only two of them. At the time maintenance and flying units were separate organizations, which didn’t encourage much contact. That wasn’t true as a FAC or in remote Interceptor alert hangars so we got to know the Crew Chiefs very well. I never had a problem with an aircraft that John didn’t warn me about before I took off. He asked if he could paint our names on the A/C and name it the “Flying Joker”. I told him he could if he would paint the 1/9th crossed sabers on the nose and the CAV patch on the sides. I never could get him to tell me what “Flying Joker” meant but I didn’t have time to worry about it.
So John painted the A/C and every time I flew it to Bien Hoa for some kind of maintenance they painted over the sabers and patches. When I taxied back in at Phouc Vinh he directed me into my parking space with the cans of paint beside his feet. The A/C was repainted by the time I filled out the forms and checked for problems with Sgt. Davis in the maintenance shack. I later met one of the guys at Bien Hoa who painted over John’s work and he told me his NCOIC put out the word it was to happen every time 683 came to Bien Hoa. We had a good laugh about it. We met as members of the OV-10 Bronco Association. I was also ordered not to wear my Army flying suit at Bien Hoa. So to avoid trouble when I flew helicopters I wore Army flying suits and when I flew the OV-10 I wore AF flying suits in case I was diverted to Bien Hoa while airborne. REMFs were everywhere and it was hard to determine which one’s were real and which were just unlucky!
John and I had respect for each other and a great working relationship. I felt I could jump in the bird and go without doing a preflight but of course I knew better than to do that. Some REMF would hear about it and I’d probably lose my job. Now that I think about it maybe I should have then I could have flown a desk and gone to Happy Hour every day too. Naaaa, I couldn’t give up the best job in the world. One day John wanted to know if he could ask a favor. I was surprised and said, “Sure”. He said he knew he was asking a lot but could I do a roll on take off. I was shocked and must have showed it because he looked downcast and said, “I know I shouldn’t have asked you but I just had to do it.”
Some further conversation brought out the fact that I was well respected by everybody, even the Army Troopers, because I flew both the helicopters and the OV-10. I didn’t enlighten him that I logged time in the choppers but only shot out of them because the best I could do flying them was to make a controlled crash in a dire emergency. Anyway the Army guys were saying that helicopters were more maneuverable and could do anything at low level. His answer had been, “Yeah, but they can’t fly upside down”. This good-natured argument had been going on for a while and the only thing that would make it go away was a roll on take off so everybody could watch. I hadn’t done much acro in several years, just the training mission at the OV-10 school. I also was a firm believer after 12 years as a line pilot in the old pilot’s adage: “There are old pilots, there are bold pilots, but there are no old, bold pilots”. So I told him I wouldn’t do it because if the boss found out about it I would be in bad trouble. He said, “OK”, and I thought the matter was closed. But almost every day from then on he would meet me with a pleading look on his face and say, “Please do a roll and get these guys off our backs. They’re riding us all the time”.
Finally, against my better judgment, I agreed under some rather stringent conditions. The DIV ALO had to be off post, the Brigade ALO had to be busy somwhere and all the other FACs had to be away from the flight line. I thought that would end it because nobody could set up those conditions. But one day John met me with a big grin on his face and told me that everything was set. The DIV ALO was at Bien Hoa and the Brigade ALO was holding a meeting with his FACs in the hooch. All my conditions had been met and the Army guys were going to line up on the ramp to watch me do the roll. I was trapped.
I slowly did the walk around and climbed into the cockpit. John was helping me strap in and must have noticed my resigned look because he said, “Major if you don’t want to do it we’ll understand. We’ll just grin and bear it while they make fun of us”. I looked at him and grinned but I didn’t say I was going to do it. In fact I hadn’t said a word since John told me today was the day. I got the bird started and as I taxied out I was thinking should I not do it or if I did should I do an aileron or a barrel roll. We had already discussed me taking off and doing the roll on a pass over the field and the Army guys wouldn’t buy that because they didn’t want to spend that much time standing in the open. We had so many attacks we had to wear our steel pots all the time in the CAV.
I finally decided while I sat at the end of the runway that the safest thing to do was get airborne, suck up the gear, hold the bird low until I got to the end of the runway and the most speed I could get. Then pull the nose up and do an aileron roll. Everything went just as I wanted until I got the nose up and started the roll. Then I really messed it up.
As I started the roll for some reason I can’t explain I continued to pull the nose up and wound up doing the first part of a cloverleaf. I wound up on my back flying 90 degrees from the runway. In other words I had pulled the A/C back to the middle of the field and was going away from it on my back. The airspeed was dropping rapidly so I pulled the nose down and rolled out. I kept it pointed down until I was about to fly into the trees and then began to slowly pull back on the stick. The bird shuddered and continued down.
The trees were getting closer and closer. I knew if I pulled back any harder I was going to stall and it would be all over. I was positive it was going to be my “Oh, s--t” day and was kicking myself for giving into an impulse I knew was a mistake. Then the airspeed started increasing, the nose began coming up, and the trees were disappearing under the aircraft. I had cheated death again.
I had always had a light touch on the stick and it had gotten me out of sticky situations before. I breathed a sigh of relief and climbed back up, did a real roll over the field and flew off to do the assigned mission. I was thinking of excuses to tell John because I hadn’t done the roll but he’d just have to live with it. I was just glad I didn’t have to meet an accident board. As I thought about it the thing that really saved my rear was the way the ground sloped away from the runway on that side of the field. I didn’t even notice when I went over the green line upside down but I bet myself there were some grunts with some soiled pants.
When I landed and taxied in, John was waiting for me as usual except he had a giant grin on his face. I kept a stoic look and waited for the shutdown signal. As the engines died, I took off my helmet and wiped the sweat off my forehead and closed my eyes. The next thing I realized was that John had climbed up to the cockpit and he was yelling something. I looked at him and said, “What?” He answered, “Major that was the greatest thing I ever saw. When you disappeared behind the trees we thought for sure you had bought it but then you came back up, did the roll over the field and disappeared in the distance going the opposite direction. Those Army guys were standing there with their mouths hanging open. They didn’t say a word and they just walked away. You really shut them up. Thanks a million from all of us”. I shook my head to avoid a shocked expression, grinned and said, “All in a day’s work”. As I climbed down from the cockpit he turned and said, “By the way the troops on the green line called in and said they almost pissed their pants when you went over upside down then you rolled over and flew away. They want us to call them if you ever plan to do that again so they can enjoy it”. As I walked back to the maintenance shack I listened to the Airmen laughing and slapping each other on the back and I thought, “Somebody is really taking care of me today.”
I went into the maintenance shack and the NCOIC was sitting at a little table we used to do the paper work with his back to me. He turned around and I thought his smile was going to split his face. He said, “Thanks Major, you’ll never know how much that meant to us”, and I answered, “Just so it doesn’t get spread around or I’ll be in trouble”. He laughed and replied, “Those Army types were shut up today so I know they’ll be quiet and I’ve already told the guys that if it gets around you won’t be our boss any more so I know they’ll keep it to themselves too. All the communication and armament guys were there too so we can count on them.” I breathed a sigh of relief, filled out the forms and drove away in my jeep. I had survived to fight another day. I had even had a good mission. What had seemed to be one of my worst days turned into one of my best but I was thankful it was over
In 1974 I attended the “Transpo” air show at Washington, D. C. Bob Hoover did a roll on take off in the OV-10 with the gear down. The gear came up as he completed the roll and he climbed up and did a loop to a touch and go. I thought to myself, “I’m glad I messed my roll up in SVN because I can see why he was Bob Hoover and I’m just me!”